The Dick and Balls Guy

'I want to order in Soul Mining by The The.'

'Sure, that’ll take about one week and come in at around $20.  Initially I would be would happy to just take a $5 deposit.'

The man I was serving towered over me, and an expression of derision cast a shadow over his face as I was speaking.

'ABOUT $20? How come you don’t know exactly how much it will be?'

'Well,' I replied, ‘We haven’t had it before, and GST and freight can sometimes alter the cost minutely, so I’d rather take a deposit to save over-charging you.  I can assure you it won’t be any more than $25 dollars, though.'

'How come the man who I asked on the phone gave me an exact price?'

'Do you recall who you spoke to? I would be happy to confirm with him.'

'No, I don’t remember, that’s not my job.  How come the MAN knew the price, but you don’t? Is it because you’re a woman?  Everywhere I go, men know more than women.  Tell me why that is?'

At this point in proceedings, I asked him if he wanted to order the CD or not, and that he was welcome to think it over and come back at a later date.

'Why don’t you want to serve me? Is it because I have a dick and balls? Huh? Cunt?'

I asked him to leave, citing his obnoxious and threatening behavior.

'Dick and balls!'

He began to thrust his genitals (don’t worry, still sheathed in his pants) on top of the counter, yelling, 'Dick and balls, cunt! Dick and BALLS!”

He leaned over at me, saliva flinging out of his mouth and hitting me.

I retreated to the phone, painfully aware that I was working alone, and that he was much larger and stronger than me, and called the police.

As I gave his description, he backed out of the doorway still yelling, 'DICK AND BALLS!'

Meanwhile, five or six seemingly able-bodied men were watching this free entertainment, and did anyone of them have a word with him, discreetly go to the police beat around the corner, or after the fact, even just ask me if I was okay? You guessed it… nope.

One member of the audience, a regular to this day, ran away in fear, only to come back hours later when the danger was over and buy an LP, never once commenting on the situation.